It seems that daily we wake to more dark news. In many ways, I have avoided talking about it here, not because we have been turning a blind eye and choosing to live in a bubble, but because I have no way to know how to put words to it all.
Part of me is scared.
Part of me is angry.
Part of me knows there is still so much beauty in the world.
Part of me is feeling numb.
Part of me feels answers don’t exist.
Part of me still hopes for peace and knows it can still happen.
The words still escape me of how to talk about my feelings about the last year both in our country and around the world. As someone who travels often and has seen many of these beautiful places, just saying my heart aches isn’t enough. Then to see and hear of many terrible things happening in our country over and over again (many times daily), I once again feel that saying I am praying or thinking about those affected still seems short-coming to what has gone on too often.
At times continuing to talk about inspiration and beauty during times like this has been hard and feels extremely frivolous, but in many ways I think it is the only way I have known how to react to what has been happening. In my mind, we need beauty still and maybe more than ever.
We need hope.
We need inspiration.
We need beauty.
We need love.
We need to celebrate.
We need to live.
Though I know that we are no where near the end of the pain or close to peace (though I hope for it daily), I plan to do the only thing I know how to do and that is continue to create. My hope?
That beauty can shine even in the dark.
That peace can be known even in the storm.
That love can be felt even in the hate.
That the small still voices of hope can echo further and louder than imagined.
That is where I have to live during all this. I wish I had different words. I wish I could write something deeper and more eloquent, but I need to at least let you know that even while creating, these things are felt deeply. Maybe deeper than I care to admit. Having a child has made my heart so vulnerable. Each of those lives was brought into the world by a woman not much different than myself. She cared for that life, nurtured it, carried it, held it, woke multiple times, gave of herself, and to lose it is the ultimate heartache. Being so close to the experience myself of creating new life I have such an open and raw wound in my soul when it comes to hearing of senseless deaths. Life feels more precious than ever after the last year and a half of growing a child and now caring for him. Nothing has ever brought me so much empathy for life. Just thinking about so many lives being lost has been crippling at times.
So today, I just want to send out this reminder in hopes that maybe this week can be different. All I know is all we can do is…
Do the most good we can.
Speak of beauty to all we can.
Love endlessly all we possibly can.
Breathe deeply and release anything that keeps us from feeling the most alive we can.
Happy Monday friends. May day today be brighter.