This week was a good one. You know the kind of week you sit there and you just pat yourself on the back because somehow you are walking away feeling accomplished, not exhausted, and really just enjoyed yourself? I am not talking about a week that was necessarily qualified with deadlines being met but about just a week you felt went how a good week should go. Nothing special happened this week…well okay Hayes rolled over and I did my civic duty of saving the neighborhood from burglars, but for the most part it was a normal week. The normal part I think is what feels like an accomplishment, though. When you have a two-month-old and are just stepping gently back into work nothing feels at all normal. There were weeks before that I longed for the long hours I had before to just sit and wander the internet, find inspiration, chatter with friends, and binge a show on a Wednesday night after working. But somehow the new way of life shifted into the new normal this week and it felt good. Maybe it was the fact it has been over two months now or maybe I have somehow found a method to the madness of life with a little one. I am not sure. Either way, I never thought about the shift of new normal becoming normal being a stage in this journey of becoming a parent, but here I sit saying that things feel normal again. Normal doesn’t mean it is the same way it was, not even slightly, normal means that this new life has shifted to feeling less new and just life. Sounds crazy, but that’s huge in my book.
The more I watch Hayes begin to take in the world and interact I realize how this normal is so much richer and fuller than the normal I knew before. I have far less time to waste and every inch of my day is filled from 7 AM to 10 PM, especially as I get back to work, but I don’t feel the hustle and the social anxiety I used to feel. Things are clearer, more planned, and far more purposeful. Instead, I feel ease and comfort just filling my day with things that matter 100% or bring me joy rather. This allows little to no space for the extra things in life that don’t matter to clog things up. I had no idea how much anxiety came from those other things. All I know is that this new normal feels good.
There were moments when I was pregnant I wondered if I was making some mistake entering this new chapter or if this was really what I wanted, but now being here I feel this has been worth every step along the way. As I watch other friends begin their journeys into parenthood I can remember my feelings at each of the stages and I get excited knowing what awaits them. The amount of maturity and acceptance of myself I have gone through in this process is something I wouldn’t trade for anything.
One of my girlfriends who I talk with often wrote the other day to encourage us other’s on the text group (all bloggers/stylists/work for ourselves creatives who have recently had babies) to inspire us through this time of massive transition. She shared thoughts that though right now we all may feel we have somewhat haulted our careers that the growth we are going through will only make us clearer, better, greater, and stronger as we jump back in little by little. We talked about how it has shifted our perspectives on time, achievements, patience, grace, and more in only a few months. These are most likely changes and growth that never would have happened if not for having babies in the last year. I 100% understand people who choose not to go down this path in life, but for me I am glad I did. I am realizing this was something I needed in order to become a better version of myself.
Those words and thoughts meant a lot from my friend, as I found myself struggling with deadlines the week before and thinking of getting back to work on any small level. It was a perspective I needed because as you may know it can feel as if things may never be able to be accomplished again, but they will and here I am at week 9 and saying they have been. It doesn’t look the same, but I am so okay with it and in fact I am more than happy with how it all looks now.
Every step in this new world may feel a little like two steps forward and one step back, but boy does it feel good to feel the new normal is normal these days. I don’t plan that each week will feel this way from here on out, but I will take this week as a win. I love that I am finding small bits of time to do things that are me and feeling a sense of fulfillment both in the time I spend with Hayes and the time I spend getting back into work. It has been so important for me to feel like myself as I work through that it means to be a mother and I feel that by some stroke of luck this week I am finding it. I know without a doubt that this is what will make me best for Hayes and in turn maybe show him what it means to live in the moment loving the ones that matter most all while living out your dreams and passions. It is my greatest hope to be an example to him in that even within the struggles and imperfections.
I would love to hear how your week has gone?! For your weekend, I put together a list of links of things that caught me this week. Did you come across anything great!?
- These slippers may be my next pair when winter swings around again.
- Our friend, Helena Price just spent the last few months working on an amazing personal project sharing the stories of 100 underrepresented people in tech, called Techies. Her portrait work alone on this project (all done in her apt in SF) is worth checking this out, but the stories are serious gold. So inspiring to watch her produce this project and know her heart and desire behind it.
- Just discovered my new favorite website.
- To all you moms and dads I thought I would share an article that really hit home for us. With Mike getting back to work and me doing 80% of the child care I think this post really shared an honest account of what it is like for us ladies during this first 3-4 months. PS. We LOVE Fatherly!!
- The hippy in me is loving these wall hangings.
- These vacation rentals have us dreaming of renting something soon and taking a little weekend trip.
- Debating about the whole off-the shoulder dress…
- These honest portraits of working moms are something I really am relating to right now as I jump back into work little by little. How many times my laptop sits on my lap while Hayes is feeding is very much a reality. The balance of motherhood is a real thing in this day-and-age of womanhood. It is a low hummed conversation that somehow feels lightly full of guilt and also empowering in the same breathe.
Have an awesome weekend friends!!!