This may come as a huge surprise, but I have a tendency to be a worrier and can find myself pretty full of anxiety at times. This hasn’t become much better since becoming pregnant pregnancy. I find myself worrying about the most outrageous things. I have learned to use breathing methods and to counter the irrational fears with the rational realities.
One of those irrational fears can be travel. Yes, the girl who lives for a good trip also fears it. I grew up with a grandmother who went very few places because she allowed her worry to get the best of her. I have always seen this tendency in myself. I worry and get so anxious before any trip…no matter what. The summer between my junior and senior year in college I challenged myself to face major fears and travel to China all alone. I was frightened; there was no doubt, and when I arrived I remember crying in my hotel room after 72 hours of travel through places that felt so foreign to me. That is still one of those moments I am proud of myself for in my life because I knew at that age if I could do that, I could do most anything.
The other time I had irrational fears related to travel was heading to Cape Town. I realized our flight was 16 hours, and I panicked realizing how far we were going and what if I got appendicitis in the air. Yeah, I tell ya, irrational. I still went. I didn’t get appendicitis, and I saw one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. The flight back was a breeze.
This time is no different. We leave for London today and last Tuesday morning I balled and told Mike we shouldn’t go. It was all fear. I was scared that something would happen to harm our little guy or about rocking our safe little routine of life right now. So many things went through my head. I wanted to call it quits and let myself off the hook for absolutely no reason other than fear. I am perfectly healthy, he is perfectly healthy, women do it all the time more often than we will and much later in pregnancy, and the list goes on to rationally counter my fears.
After I let it all out to Mike, he told me we need to go, which, of course, made me mad. He said we needed to go because I was afraid. He reminded me that there will be a million things in the months and years ahead to be fearful of, and we will take each one as they come, but this one this is an opportunity to grow. He reminded me of how good it will feel to land in London and feel success that I overcame the fear that was about to hold us back. I knew right then and there he was right. He was the voice of reason I needed to clear the fog of my anxiety.
I don’t expect the trip over to London to be comfortable. The idea of not getting good sleep right now is my greatest nightmare and not to mention jet lag, but thankfully we have a good place to land and rest up once we arrive.
What I learn in each of these moments is that there will always be fear in my life. It is how I am wired underneath all the strength I try to have. Fear offers a choice to either listen to them and control life or face them and grow from them. This time will be no different. I have faced a lot of fears while traveling and sometimes those moments have been just as important in my personal growth as the things I experience along the way.
I hope that inspires you into this new week. We have a lot of content scheduled for you while we are traveling. Don’t forget to follow our Instagram for shots of our trip. We will be posting some thoughts on Fridays about our trip, but other than that Instagram is the best place to follow along for now!