Image via: The Ivy Girl
Tonight I spent the evening with a friend who I have known since 3rd grade. We played on the same soccer teams in elementary and middle school. We then ended up being hall mates our freshmen year in college as well as the starting outside midfielders on our college soccer team. Outside of both being athletes, her and I are completely different in many ways, which we always have a good laugh about when together. She works in finance, and when we were in college, she would schedule her days out hour by hour in order to get her CPA license while still in college. I was constantly the artist with late night hours and boy problems. She is extremely organized in every way I am not and ended up marrying the guy she met freshmen year in college.
In most instances, you would think there is no way you two would be friends and especially not BEST friends, but I will tell you she was the maid of honor at our wedding and one of the people who knows me best. She is as close to me as a sister as I will ever have. She was the first person I told besides our family that I was pregnant, and I would trust her with anything. Spending time with her for just an hour or so over dinner while she was nearby on a work trip, it got me thinking of how as women we make friends and how we keep them over the years.
I have never been a girl who schedules girls’ night with friends. I am more of the one-on-one girl who enjoys a casual and unplanned glass of wine on the porch or a quiet dinner after work. Over the years, I have learned a few things about myself and how I relate to other women. I enjoy women who no matter what their occupation are confident, strong, full of grace, compassionate, and have a great sense of humor. I especially don’t enjoy drama, which is quite difficult to find in a girlfriend. Ladies love to talk, don’t we?
As I have gotten older, I have recognized the need for great women in my life and the importance of cherishing the ones I have found. It is hard to come by a good friend the kind who is is there for you not only to support you but make you your best self.
Over this summer, I read a lot. One of the books I read was Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. It had been on my list for a long time. There is a chapter she calls “Alameda” where she talks about a trip to California with some girlfriends. They all had recently had children in the last two years, and she talks about the weekend spent in a whirlwind of good food, baby time, wine drinking, and gorgeous views. I won’t do the essay any justice to explain further, but it made me realize how important it is to hold closely the women who make you stronger, better, more graceful, and love you no matter what. She refers to these ladies as your home-team, and I loved that term. Knowing who those ladies are that will fight for you and be there for you is a gift.
Recently, I have been trying to find ways to connect and stay in touch with the ladies in my life who I put on this home-team. Though I have a couple here in Raleigh, most of my friends are spread from Ohio to California to Seattle to New York to South Korea and the list goes on. This means I can’t just see them all the time. Instead, I am working to be purposeful about connecting with them, letting them know I love them and that they matter to me. In my 20’s there have been a lot of key lessons of adulthood I have learned, but the most important is that good friends are few and far between, and when you find them you don’t let them go. Good friends don’t just walk into your life every day.
So, I am wondering what do you do to stay in touch with your girlfriends? Do you have a lot or just a few you consider on your home-team? I am so curious because I am trying to find ways to make this a priority in my life.